Found, Folded and Waiting, Under an Important Piece of Mail

Dear Sir,

I am sorry to have left you so suddenly,

or rather,

I am sorry for withdrawing my heart

with such forthrightness.

You see, it occurred to me

that these wounds that I have encountered,

ones which have long gone unprobed,

you would unwittingly aggravate and cause further tears in.

And it is better

that I should seek a binding for them

and be able someday to stand

more whole and more freely myself,

than to remain

and risk an infection at the edges,

a discoloring from bitterness,

or worse, to run,

closing myself off from all the good

that might come from our friendship.

(I know that to deny

my feelings for you

as I have tried to do many times before

would only delay the hurt and increase

the sharpness of the blade.)

So I have stepped away

and into the embrace of One

who has long looked to sew these ends

together and hold

my hands to his heart

and whisper the truth until I should know it

and not believe the lie.

For I am not now ready

to love you in the way that I should,

nor are you.

But if we should bring our loves

to the One who abounds in and perfects

all love, we wound find our hearts

renewed, burnt in flames

that shed old onion skin wrappings

and somehow leave the heart redder

and larger than before.

For this is our first task:

to offer up ourselves

to be invigorated to new life,

leaving behind the things which would cause decay

and spread a film over our eyes and limbs.

And if we are to love one another,

as we should,

as this One does us,

how can we learn it

except through Christ?

So this is where I have gone,

should one day your heart call you on

to meet its desires

and you should seek

with a ready and restful countenance

the love which I have withdrawn.

You will find it safe

in the hands of Him

who has been growing and healing it

all along

only to love you better.

—–

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