Oh my love,
let us start anew.
I have cast behind my back
all that has kept you from me
I would rather rend the heavens
and come down to save our love,
then see you walk away.
For I have heard
the unspoken cries of your heart,
you who long to see my face.
Come, let us turn toward each other
and be firm to the end.
as we wait.
I have to admit, I don’t always have the best reaction when someone pushes me into something that I don’t think I’m ready for. Usually my gut reaction is anger. At least that’s what I’ve been discovering lately. Already anxious because I don’t feel confident in my abilities or purpose, and already giving myself a hard time for not being where I want to be, I push back (at least in my emotions) when someone else puts more pressure on me. As someone who gives %100 consistently because I don’t like missing the mark or expectations, it irks me when someone says that isn’t enough.
But we all need a good shove.
And a lesson in humility. Something tells me Jesus took it a lot better when his mom pushed him into his ministry and the start of his vocation at the wedding at Cana (Jn 2:1-12). He knew it wasn’t quite the time for his main purpose to be revealed to the world, but Mary (probably via the Holy Spirit) knew that it was the right time for people to see another side of him than just a carpenter from Nazareth. So she stepped in and gave him an unlooked for opportunity for action. And it was from that miracle that his disciples first believed in him and his glory was first revealed. But what if he had shrunk back from that moment?
How often do we sit back in the comfort of waiting for the right time or waiting until we’re just a little bit better at something before we jump in to using our strengths and weaknesses?
Here’s what I’m learning right now: God calls us when we’re not ready. Because the point is not being ready. The point is that what God is calling us to is what will grow us into who we’re meant to be. You don’t need to be ready for or even feel competent in what God is calling you to do. You just have to trust Him enough to say yes.
And have the wisdom to see that He knows what He’s doing with you. Our fear and doubt and anxiety can’t see further than the moment that we’re in. But God sees the heart and the soul that has tremendous capabilities for growth. And sometimes He will shove us into the moments that will catalyze our lives.